It's the encouraging phrase you hear every time you try to tell someone about your insecurities. "Just be more confident!" people say, like it's easy. But learning how to be more confident takes a lot of work to unlearn behaviors that have become the status quo for so many folks!
If you're interested in learning the no stress, no pressure steps to take to gain improved confidence, keep reading. We're outlining the best things you can do for your self-confidence.
1. Learn the Art of Radical Self Love
First and foremost, you need to learn that you are freaking awesome exactly the way you are right now. We have been trained by our culture and society to believe that only one type of (typically unattainable) body is worthy of love. We're here to tell you that nothing could be farther from the truth.
You are worthy of love and confidence exactly as you are today. No matter what body type you have, no matter what scars or stretch marks tell your story, you're capable and worthy of confidence.
2. Let Go of the Guilt
You have to learn how to move on from your past mistakes. If you're still focusing on the things that have held you back, it's time you make peace with them. In order to truly gain self-confidence, you have to stop feeling guilty for things you aren't in control of anymore.
3. Be Unapologetically Yourself
Developing confidence in yourself involves becoming, well, yourself. You can't put on a fake persona and expect that to be the source of your confidence. It may work for a while, but at the end of the day, people can tell fake from real.
You have to learn to love or, at the very least, accept yourself the way you are. Don't be ashamed of the weird, quirky things that make you who you are.
So if you love that obscure anime, be loud about it! If you think pineapple absolutely goes on pizza, tell the world! When you start marching to the beat of the drum that started playing for you, you're going to develop confidence organically.
4. Talk Kindly to Yourself
It is so easy to let our inner voice run wild. No one hears it but us, right? So, why should it matter the things we're saying inside our own heads?
Positive self-talk is one of the most important things you can do in order to develop self-confidence. Your internal voice is the one you hear all the time, every single day. If the only thing you're hearing yourself say is how worthless or stupid you are, you're going to start to believe it.
Learning how to talk kindly to yourself can be hard to start, but you've got to give it a try. Talk kindly. You're listening!
5. Learn Something New
A great way to prove to yourself that you're capable and competent is to try to learn something new. Is there a skill you've been wanting to sharpen but you weren't sure when a good time to give it a try? Now's the time.
Pick up chess, try sewing your own cute bag, or give learning a new language a try.
As you start to build your skill and enhance your ability, you're opening the door to creating more confidence in all areas of your life.
6. Ditch the Non-Believers
If you're spending all this time talking kindly to yourself and trying new things, the last thing you need is someone who is in your corner but rooting for the other fighter.
Everyone knows this kind of person: they're naysayers. They like to remind you over and over again that your goals don't make sense or they think that having a laugh at your expense is the idea of a good time.
It takes all kinds of people to make the world go 'round, right? True, but that doesn't mean you need this kind of person in your life. Ditch the non-believer and watch your confidence soar.
7. Find the Joy in Failure
One thing to keep in mind: it's okay to fail. A lot of people think that having confidence means that you believe that you can't fail. In truth, you can be even more confident when you remember that it's totally okay to fail.
All failure means is that you have a chance to do better next time. We learn the most from failure. We have the most to gain from failure.
Don't be afraid to mess up sometimes. When you embrace the joy of learning and the inevitability of failing from time to time, you'll walk a lot easier through life.
8. Challenge Self-Limiting Beliefs
We all have a set of beliefs we trust are true about ourselves. They're sort of like a bias we hold. In order to really succeed and gain confidence in ourselves, we have to challenge those beliefs.
Think about the things you think that you "just can't do." Do you think you just can't pull off a crop top? Are you just not cut out for asking your boss for a raise?
You need to challenge yourself to break through those barriers. You're the only one holding you back! Don that crop top and prepare yourself to show your boss why you're deserving of a raise.
Though, perhaps not at the same time.
9. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Lastly, in order to truly feel more confident in yourself, you have to stop comparing yourself to everyone else. Their success doesn't mean your failure. And their A-roll isn't something that you should compare with your entire life.
How to Be More Confident
It isn't easy to learn how to be more confident, especially in a world where self-confidence can feel like arrogance. But if you're willing to put in the work and pay more attention to the way you view yourself, you'll be able to conquer anything.
For more tips on how to embrace and love your body, browse our selection of body love zines!
Photo Credit: Sarah Pflug